my mom always, but so much more!

"I love my mother as the trees love water and sunshine - she helps me grow, prosper, and reach great heights." ~Adabella Radici

one day, these words, don't begin to be enough.

i guess the idea of honoring someone with 24 hours devoted to appreciation for their life-long service is a good gesture. brilliant, even. insufficient at best. dreadfully insufficient.

to quote mr. lincoln who said, "all that i am, i owe to my angel mother" would be accurate. but, lacking.

to amend his words and say, "all i am and can potentially be that's any good i owe to my angel mother" is better. still lacking.

to say, "all that i am, the best possible version of myself, the self that loves, feels, serves and cares, i owe to my angel mother" is even better. still lacking.

so, while insufficient, i'd like to say that my mom, best friend, confidant and mentor is special for a plethora of reasons... but i would only like to name a few.

1- as a daughter, i ALWAYS knew my mom loved me. there was never any doubt. now, maybe being the baby girl in the family, i positioned that love in such a way that i could get what i wanted (my sisters would read [spoiled]), but she will never be found guilty of not loving me enough. that love has saved me at times.

"Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved." ~Erich Fromm

2-she's always been available. if i needed her, my mom was available. now, that's not to say that she's not busy. raising six kids, often on six teams at a time, making dinner, lunches, keeping the house together, and working to help out (what family can live on one income these days?) meant my mom probably felt more like hired service on many days. i'm sure the thank yous were few and the hours were long. and yet, she was ALWAYS there. i always felt a priority. she was never too busy for me. i, on the other hand, often convinced myself that i was too busy for her, but the inverse was never true.

"Mother - that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries." ~T. DeWitt Talmage

3-she sure does know how to listen. for someone who has a famed reputation of loving to talk on the phone, my aunt sharon is also endowed with this talent (which comes first, the talent then the daily conversations, or does the daily conversations develop the talent? this chicken/egg idea merits a later look), my mom knows when all i need is a shoulder, an ear, a hug, a "ohhhh honey, i'm sorry." when she does offer her nuggets of wisdom... she always seems to be right and right on time. but mostly, she lets me talk, lets me think, lets me vent. she's good at that.

"Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children." ~William Makepeace Thackeray

4-she lets me fly. and sometimes, i fly far away. and sometimes, she knows when i'll be back. and sometimes, she doesn't. and yet, like every loving mother, she'll help me strengthen my wings, and let me plunge out of the nest. and then when she sees me soar, a feat for which she is almost entirely responsible, she seems simultaneously awed and unsurprised. her faith in me is limitless. it's an anchor.

"My mother is a poem
I'll never be able to write,
though everything I write
is a poem to my mother."
~Sharon Doubiago

5-she sees with celestial eyes and offers that view to others. in general conference in october 2008, president eyring spoke of people in our lives who see us much more like the savior than we see ourselves. he was talking about my mom. now, i would be remiss to say that she is the only person in my life that fits this bill, but i say with full confidence that she has most consistently seen me with the savior's eyes. and, far more often than i probably want to admit, sorrowed that her little girl couldn't see herself through that same lens. the first time i felt that yearning i was in the beach community of caraguatatuba, brasil. we were teaching jessica. jessica was 14. jessica had no idea who she was. she shied away from looking into the reality of her own worth. i prayed. i fasted. i prayed. i pleaded. i prayed. i wept. i prayed... hoping that jessica would awaken to understand her divine nature, her innate deity, her value as a daughter of God. and then, in that little beach town, i thought back to the time i came home from high school to find my room clean (and we know that's not how i left it in the morning) with a book on my bed "daughter of a king." she wanted so badly for me to see it, to know it, to feel it, to trust it. she might like to know... she's rubbing off. even if it's still hard.

"Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible." ~Marion C. Garretty