a lil bit of Bachelorette live-blogging

Hello family, and anyone else who happens to stumble across my blog,

I live far away from my Bachelor and Bachelorette-watching family. This travesty is somewhat mitigated by our family website that receives a dramatic spike in participation (almost as dramatic as the most dramatic rose ceremony ever) about every Monday after 10 p.m. no matter the time zone. Our love of The Bachelor saga knows no age, no gender, no geography. We are sprawled across this great nation and love to talk about the Bachelor. Our belief in this institution for conversation fodder is topped only by Chris Harrison’s sincere belief in this institution as a marriage starter.

Before I dive into my thoughts of tonight’s episode, I just want to get one thing out there, I called the Final Four after the first episode and I stand by my choices… Chris L., Roberto, Kirk, Frank.

Preface: I just want Kasey to know that my heart is guarded and protected. On that note, I will be doing a running “heart tracker” and trying to count how many times Kasey says heart. I claim no accuracy; I only claim effort.

Heart tracker: 111111111111111111111

These are actual thoughts, while actually watching an actual episode of actual television. I feel like that needed to be clarified!

And to start things off we are heading to Iceland. Ideal. Showing off these hard economic times, ABC puts these guys in coach, back row, middle seat. Spare no expense.

And right away we have a poem-writing contest for a 1-on-1 date. These have always been a crowd pleaser. I can’t help but wonder, what will Kasey write? I think it goes something like this:

Oh my love, Ali where do I start?
How about talking about guarding and protecting your heart.

Wait, how do I say "guard and protect your heart" in Icelandic?

Not surprisingly, the highlight of Kasey's poem was Chris L’s impersonation. I’m 100% confident he won’t be getting that 1-on-1 date.

Fact… Chris N. has a voice beyond “Absolutely.” Who knew? As for the poem? It hurt. 3 months later and thousands of miles away I wanted to save him from himself…

Oh, good move by Kirk getting close to Ali. Did no one learn from Roberto last time? (I promise I said that before Ali did… two names think alike, I guess!)

Thanks to his smooth moves, Kirk gets the 1-on-1 date with Ali and gets the chance to tell his sob story. When hearing Kirk talk about his illness, I feel like I’m watching an episode of “House.” Duh, it always comes back to the molds. Not exactly what I was expecting with the teaser of his fear of sharing his past, but a near-death story was not what I anticipated. Shocking? That said, these two are legitimately cute.

The episode stealers today were Kasey and Justin. My favorite moments?

Kasey: “I’m not just trying to stick around, I’m trying to be the man of her dreams.”

Justin: “One small step for Justin, one giant leap for Rated R”

Favorite Ali moment of the night, while in Iceland: “Now we get to go to a place that the guys have never seen before.”
-Ya, Iceland.

Brooding Frank. Emotionally disastrous, brooding Frank. I’m not a fan of that situation. I am, however, a fan of Ali calling Frank out and asking him to be less of a female on their group dates. Step up buddy.

I'm really taking advantage of this last commercial break before the 2-on-1 date. Deep breaths – this will be painful. The previous two 2-on-1 dates (Jillian and Jake's seasons) sent home both dates, I’m hoping this trend continues!

Sadly I was wrong, but the image of Justin and Ali leaving Kasey alone on this mountain is priceless.

And Ali cuts Chris N. and all’s right in the world. Next week SPOILER ALERT, Justin’s girlfriend at home is exposed and Ali shows some fire in her. Love the drama. I’m 14 seasons strong in this…

You heard it here first.